I'm not contrary.... Oh.

When I was in Bolivia on my mission, the lady who cooked lunch for us said to me: "Elder, usted es muy contrario." This translates to: "Elder, you are very contrary" (but it doesn't rhyme in Spanish). Just last night, I came to the realization that I haven't changed much in that respect in the past 3 1/2 years (side note: can't believe it's been that long already). I mentioned this to Jess last night, and she just sort of laughed at me and said "yep." We discussed my contrariness for a few minutes, which helped me understand my standard reaction to so many things.

I think a lot. I analyze things. Probably too much. I find that a lot of issues have multiple facets, and that makes it harder to make snap judgments. Because of this I tend to want others to see these other facets, and my subconscious method for doing this is to play devil's advocate. I don't always espouse the idea that I present--mostly I just want the person that I'm talking with to think about it. Have they considered this aspect of what they are talking about? If they have, great! I'm not looking to argue, just to show that things might be more complicated than initially realized. I actually don't like contention--I just like to explore ideas.

So what's the bottom line? Two things: 1. If I have ever offended you because I came across as argumentative or disagreeable, that was not my intention. I apologize. Hopefully what I have written here will help you understand what is going on inside my head. 2. Finding character defects is kind of a painful process. However, recognition is one of the first steps towards fixing a problem. I still think that thinking things through is good, but maybe I just need to be more careful in how I present the things that I've thought about. I need to harness this power for good instead of evil. :) Any ideas on how to do that? Did any of this make any sense?